Why should the grand-kids find out, it has nothing to do with them?

I think this is what my grandmother and her family must have been thinking, no one will ever know, but I can only surmise.

I have many free flowing thoughts with the discovery that my great-grandpa lost his family to the Holocaust and starting Helen Epstein's book "Children of the Holocaust, Conversations with Sons and Daughter's of Survivors"
I want to know the details, but I don’t want to know-it scares the _____out of me.

• You feel like you are betraying the secrecy on your family, by bringing back the Judaism.

• Will we outlive our life of peace in the US or will someone decide to persecute Jews to such an extent again and then I am coming out of the cave of protection that my own grandparents set up for me?

• Feeling like I am playing a game of well, you may think I am a just Jewish convert, but how Jewish am I now?  I really don't want to be Jewish this way.

• Not understanding why my grandparents changed their names and got baptized several generations ago…but at the same time realizing they were out to save their own selves.  At the same time I have the feeling they may have betrayed their own.  Not understanding why my grandmother was supposed to be Lutheran (at least that is what I grew up thinking), but I never saw her enter a church in her life…now I guess I understand her secular feelings.

• Feeling like I lost my Jewish upbringing, because my grandparents didn’t want this for me.  However at the same time I want it back.  Feeling like I had something taken from me.

Kathy

9th of Tevet, 5770 / ט׳ בטבת תש״ע