Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Light at the end of the tunnel

I had a meeting with the Rabbi this evening and he said that after I finish my classes on April 15th, that we could talk about dates for the Beit Din and then the Mikvah.

Right here I think I need to break out in that song from Fiddler on the Roof, "Wonder of wonders, Miracle of Miracles."..remember the tailor when he received permission from Tevye to marry his eldest daughter.
Instead of G-d giving me a wife though, I should say G-d has given me a new life.  It isn' t a perfect life (whose is?), but it is definitely a life that makes more sense to me.

I am so excited about this there are no words.  I talked to him about adult Bar/Bat Mitzvah classes and he gave me the lady's email address to contact.  Jewish study never ends by the way, if I am doing right by my religion, I will be spending the rest of my life studying, but that is okay as that is part of what I like about Judaism.  You grow in this religion.
He asked If I am ready and my answer was "Well, I am definitely am not going back to Christianity".  No offense to anyone who feels that is for them, but for me I just have learned too much history and basic Judaism to ever go back into a church again and feel Jesus is G-d.  He just isn't to me.  It is like I have been given too much information now and I would feel like I was totally faking it.  It wouldn't even be the same as the first time I went to my synagogue and felt intimidated by Hebrew and unsure what was going on.   (At times in Hebrew I am still unsure what is going on:). )  However, to go back to church would feel as if I was doing something wrong.  It is in my heart now.
I also went onto say that Judaism has made me feel better about myself.  I see myself as more valuable now.  I see what I do in the world as more valuable.  
So while it is fresh in my mind...he said I need to go back and review my journey to Judaism.  This exact thing will be hard to put into words, I know the story in my heart, though.  The difficult part will be getting it on paper.
Also, he asked me what I really like about Judaism and what I don't like.  The "don't like part" I have put out there already as this blog has been at times a bit of a place to vent, particularly about things I have found frustrating as a potential convert.
For now I will sign off a very happy woman who will study hard and start working on putting this all into words.
22nd of Sh'vat, 5770 / כ״ב בשבט תש״ע

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